THE ROCK CLIMBER

The Heavy Rock of Isolation Adapted from an Aish.com article here.   The movie "127 hours" is the riveting story of American mountain climber, Aron Ralston, whose ordeal gripped the nation in May 2003 when he was forced to cut off his arm in order to survive his adventure. The movie is fascinating, mesmerizing and very real. And all too human. I think we all recognize that Aron Ralston could be any one of us. When Mr. Ralston set out on his adventure to climb Blue John Mountain in Utah, he didn't tell anyone where he was going. His mother called and he ignored her message. He lived a life isolated from others, pushing people away, avoiding intimacy. When his arm gets stuck "between a rock and a hard place" (the title of his book and possibly the first time that expression was meant literally), he tries many different maneuvers in an effort to free himself - all without success. After a few days of fruitless attempts, the situation gets more desperate and he begins to reflect, "I'm such a big hero that I came out here and I didn't tell anybody where I was going. Oops." Ralston is beginning to recognize this, to acknowledge that his isolationism is not a healthy attitude - neither physically nor psychologically. He continues, "All my life I've been heading for this rock. And this rock was made just for me." As the ordeal continues, Ralston becomes delirious. Death seems to be hovering. In a true act of desperation, he takes a knife, already dulled from repeated banging on the rock, and cuts off his arm. He still needs to scale down the mountain and hike 16 miles... But as he walks away from the scene, he looks back at the Blue John and says, "Thank you." We are given no further explanation but since the mountain endangered his life, rather than saving it, we must assume he means "thank you for the experience, for the wisdom gained, the lesson proffered." In Psalms (118), we say: "I will thank You because You have answered me; it has been for me a salvation." The word "answered" can also be translated "afflicted". We thank the Almighty for the affliction because that was the opportunity that truly changed who we are, that (hopefully) made us better. Aron Ralston is a fortunate young man - not just because he survived, but because he recognized the lessons available for him to learn from this experience while he still had the time and ability to change. Although he continues to climb mountains, he also works as a motivational speaker, doing the best possible thing we can do with our preciously bought wisdom - sharing it with others. Married with a child, he no longer avoids intimacy and he never goes mountain climbing without telling someone where he is going. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We are all climbing a mountain in our struggle with this addiction. WE CAN'T DO IT ALONE! It is the isolation that got us stuck in this difficult situation in the first place! When we find ourselves in a real slump we often tell ourselves as Aron did, "I'm such a big hero that I came out here and I didn't tell anybody where I was going. Oops." If only we had made that call and reached out for help BEFORE we fell, we could have saved ourselves so much pain. As long as we remain in isolation, we will find ourselves stuck between a rock and a hard place. We may try to break free 100 times, but as Chazal say, "a prisoner can't release himself from prison". The Pasuk (Mishlei 28;13) says, "Mechaseh P'sha'av lo Yatzliach - He who hides his sins will not succeed" ... "Modeh V'ozev" - those who admit their powerlessness and reach out for help, "Yeruchem - will see mercy". Try this: Make a neder or a strong Kabala that if you act out before talking with someone first, you will need to do something very hard or give a large amount to Tzedaka. This powerful idea will force you to make that call. And once we make the call and are out of isolation, we can find the strength to hold back 90% of the time. You can get a group of guys to call from Duvid Chaim's phone roster, or by PM'ing your friends on the forum and asking for their phone numbers. You can even make an anonymous Google Voice number to use for this purpose. Don't stay in isolation any more!

You just won a million dollars!

You just won a million dollars! A Mashgiach once told me that a Bochur asked him on Chanuka night for some Chizuk. So the Mashgiach asked him, "If you had just found out that you won a million dollars, would you still need Chizuk? "No" answered the Bochur. "Well", continued the Mashgiach, "if someone offered you a million dollars to sell them the Mitzva of the Chanuka lighting that you just did, would you sell it to them?". "I don't think so", answered the Bochur. "So that means", said the Mashgiach, "that you just did something that is more precious to you than a million dollars! And you still feel you need Chizuk??" So if someone offered us a million dollars to sell them the merit that we earn when we turn our eyes away from seeing bad and give a Nachas Ruach to the Almighty Creator, would we sell it? No! So we are winning millions every time we walk in the street and guard our eyes! We should be dancing through the streets!

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THE GIFT OF SIGHT GUE

The Gift of Sight
Do we appreciate it enough?

 

I read once an article in the Hamodia about a twenty year old boy who had a genetic disease and lost his eye sight without warning, in the span of just a few days. Obviously this was very difficult for him at first, but now a year later, he tells how losing his eye sight has made him realize what is really important in life. He can no longer party and get drunk with his friends like he used to, and he doesn't want to anymore. He no longer sees people by their looks, but rather by who they are. He has come a lot closer to Torah and to G-d, and has found much more meaning in his life.

 

We should never, G-d forbid, have to undergo such an experience to make us "open our eyes" to what is truly important in life. Let us instead appreciate the incredible gift of eye sight, and not G-d forbid abuse it. How fortunate are we to be able to see all of G-d's beautiful creation, to experience life and to be able to take care of ourselves by seeing the world around us! But let us not take this gift lightly. When going out into the street, let us turn our eyes downwards and not allow ourselves to abuse this tremendous gift.

IMAGINATION /DIMYON

Imagination

G-d gave us human beings the gift of imagination, something that no other life form has been endowed with. Without imagination we wouldn't be able to function as human beings, to invent, to progress and to search for the truths of the universe and for G-d.

Yet, at the same time, imagination is responsible for most of the Yetzer Hara's power over us. The reason why we "lust" for things that we know we can never have and that are bad for us, is because we imagine that we could have them, and we imagine that they are good for us.

R' Nachman says that the name of the Yetzer Hara in our day and age is "Dimyon" - Imagination.

We need to learn to use this wonderful gift of G-d only for the right things. For example, to imagine the greatness of Hashem. And on Shavu'os, we can use the power of our imagination to picture that we are standing before Har Sinai and seeing the entire mountain on fire, with heavy smoke rising to the heavens. We can imagine that we are listening to the voice of Hashem, to the sounds of thunder, lightening and Shofar blowing. We can picture the fear and awe that the Yidden felt - and try to feel it ourselves!

But when it comes to lusting and fantasies, we need to turn off our imagination and internalize that all these imaginary desires have no connection to us. For in reality, having all these imaginary desires would be bad for us, bad for the people involved and bad for the world.

So next time we catch ourselves fantasizing about something bad, let's try to train ourselves how to turn off our imaginations and live in REALITY instead. Let us use the gift of our imaginations only for things that will bring us closer to Hashem!