Monday, February 27, 2012

SMALL MOVE HOW POWERFULL

The P'nei Menachem once related that after "The Big Fire" in Ger (I don't know when that was, but apparently it was a big fire) which burnt down the Sefas Emes's house and extensive library, the insurance company sent down assessors to determine the cause of the fire and to put a price tag on the damage.

Passing by them in the courtyard the Sefas Emes saw them conversing among themselves, and sent one of his aides over to see what they were discussing. The aide came back, and reported that in their professional opinion the fire was started by a carelessly discarded cigarette butt.

Said the Sefas Emes, "If one careless - seemingly insignificant - mishap, can wreak such destruction and devastation - How much more powerful and far reaching must the effects of a few small - but meaningful - steps taken in Avodas Hashem be!"

Sunday, February 26, 2012

HASHEM IS IN THE DRIVER SEAT

Category: 12-step Attitude, Testimonials

Hashem is Holding Me
 
By "Hashem's Soldier"
 
I'm sure you've heard the famous poem about two sets of footprints in the sand... This guy died and went up to heaven and was looking back at his whole life and always saw two sets of footprints. And G-d told him that one of them is yours and one of them is mine, I always walked beside you. And the guy sees at one point only one set of footprints and says, "I KNEW IT, I KNEW THAT AT THOSE TIMES THINGS WERE SO DIFFICULT THAT I WOULD CRY OUT TO YOU AND I WOULD TRY SO HARD TO DO BETTER AND GET YOUR ATTENTION, BUT I NEVER GOT YOUR ATTENTION, I KNEW THAT YOU HAD LEFT ME!". And G-d responded to him and said, "those footsteps aren't your footsteps, they are my footsteps. I was holding you in my arms".

After years of trying to take control of my life and throw away this addiction, I joined the phone conferences with Duvid Chaim, and I am growing so much. I am learning to surrender to Hashem. I feel like the guy in the story, the only difference is that I don't feel abandoned by Hashem anymore. Now, instead of Hashem picking me up, I'm crawling onto his shoulders before he even needs to pick me up.

I have been doing much better this time around, I'm actually flying through the days. I'm not white-knuckling. I'm giving all of my struggles over to Hashem.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

HOW TO RISE OUT OF THE 49 SHAR TUMAH AND FLY

Rav Moshe Weinberger - Shabbos Morning Drasha - Parshas Yisro - Learning to Fly

Below, please find a write-up of Rav Weinberger's Shabbos morning drasha from this Shabbos, Parshas Yisro. He has not yet reviewed this version so any mistakes are due to me. See here for past write-ups. Also, thousands of Rav Weinberger's shiurim are available online HERE.

Rav Moshe Weinberger
Parshas Yisro 5772
Learning to Fly

We know that the הקדמה, the introduction to a sefer is the נשמה, the soul of the sefer. Therefore, the psukim that introduce קבלת התורה, the Jewish people’s acceptance of the Torah, are the essence of what it means to receive the Torah. They teach us what we need to know to personally receive the Torah.

The הקדמה, introduction, to קבלת התורה, our acceptance of the Torah are the psukim (Shmos 19:5-6), “וִהְיִיתֶם לִי סְגֻלָּה מִכָּל-הָעַמִּים ... וְאַתֶּם תִּהְיוּ-לִי מַמְלֶכֶת כֹּהֲנִים וְגוֹי קָדוֹשׁ,” “and you shall be a treasured nation to me from all of the nations... and you shall be to me a kingdom of kohanim, a holy nation.” But the נשמה of the נשמה, the soul of the soul of our acceptance of the Torah is (Shmos 19:4) “וָאֶשָּׂא אֶתְכֶם עַל-כַּנְפֵי נְשָׁרִים וָאָבִא אֶתְכֶם אֵלָי,” “and I will lift you up on eagle’s wings and bring you to me.” We know how Rashi says that that this means that just as an eagle carries it babies on its back to protect them from arrows, Hashem protected us from the Egyptian’s arrows with the cloud of glory, but there is also a deeper message as well.

There is a seeming contradiction between the navi Yeshaya’s description of the angels in our Haftara and Yechezkel’s description. In Yeshaya 6:2, it says “שְׂרָפִים עֹמְדִים מִמַּעַל לוֹ שֵׁשׁ כְּנָפַיִם שֵׁשׁ כְּנָפַיִם לְאֶחָד בִּשְׁתַּיִם יְכַסֶּה פָנָיו וּבִשְׁתַּיִם יְכַסֶּה רַגְלָיו וּבִשְׁתַּיִם יְעוֹפֵף,” “the Seraphim stand above him with six wings for each one, he covered his face with two, he covered his feet with two, and he flew with two.” In Yechezekl 1:6, however, it says about the angels, “וְאַרְבַּע כְּנָפַיִם לְאַחַת לָהֶם,” “and each one had four wings.” How do we reconcile the four-winged angel of Yechezkel with the six-winged angel of Yeshaya?

The Gemara in Chagiga 13b answers this apparant contradiction by saying that “כאן בזמן שבהמ"ק קיים כאן בזמן שאין בית המקדש קיים כביכול שנתמעטו כנפי החיות,” “These [the six-winged angels of Yeshaya] were at the time when the Beis Hamikdash stood and these [the four-winged angels of Yechezkel] were at the time when the Bais Hamikdash no longer stood, because the wings of the Chayos had been diminished.” The angels had lost their wings. The Gemara continues by discussing which of the three sets of wings were lost. The mekubalim accept the opinion that it was the wings that allowed the angels to fly which were lost. It was this set of wings that they used to say שירה, their song to Hashem.

The seforim hakedoshim teach us that this teaches us not only about the status of the angels since the חורבן, the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash. It also teaches us that since that time, we have also, for the most part, lost the ability to fly, to soar above physicality and elevate ourselves above the world. There have been certain tzadkim, however, who have managed to get their wings back and soar. Rav Uri of Strelisk was known as the “Seraph,” the fiery angel. Rav Mendel of Kotzsk was also known as the “Seraph,” the fiery angel. In fact, there is a story that when Rav Mendel of Kotzsk’s son-in-law, the Avnei Nezer, lost his wife (the Kotzker’s daughter), the chevra kadisha brought him a sample text for her מצבה, headstone, which read “בת השרף,” “daughter of the Seraph.” The Avnei Nezer told them to make one change. The מצבה, headstone, should say “בת השרף המעופף,” “daughter of the flying Seraph.” As the Gemara in Sanhedrin 93a says, “גדולים צדיקים יותר ממלאכי השרת,” “tzadikim are greater than the ministering angels.” Human beings therefore can fly, just like the angels, if they guard their wings.

The misha in Avos (5:18) commands us, “הוי עז כנמר, וקל כנשר, ורץ כצבי, וגיבור כארי--לעשות רצון אביך שבשמיים,” “be as brazen as a leopard, as light as an eagle, run like a deer and be strong like a lion to do the will of your Father in heaven.” Why does it say to be as light as an eagle? There are many other birds, like the sparrow, which are lighter than an eagle. It must mean that despite the heaviness of the eagle, it is considered lighter because it has the strongest wings. The Mechilta D’Rabi Shimon Bar Yochai explains, “מה הנשר הזה עולה ממטה למעלה בשעה קצרה, כך ישראל עולין ממטה למעלה בשעה קצרה,” “just as the eagle goes from below to above in a very short time, so too the Jewish people go from below to above in a very short time.”

Hashem says “וָאֶשָּׂא אֶתְכֶם,” “I will lift you up” from the lowest point on the thirty-ninth level of impurity to the point of receving the Torah on Har Sinai in just a few weeks. This is the introduction to our acceptance of the Torah. Hashem is telling each one of us: “You are a Jew! You can fly! Despite all of the heaviness of the world, you have powerful wings and you can fly above everything. There is no website in the world that can tie you down. “אתה בחרתנו מכל העמים, אהבת אותנו ורצית בנו, ורממתנו מכל הלשונות,” “You chose us from all of the nations, you loved us, you wanted us, and you lifted us up from among the nations.”

The Alshich makes the following point: “קל כנשר, הנה ידענו כי אין בעוף יפרח כל כך גבוה מעל גבוה כנשר... והנה מי הכריחו לנשר לעשות מעל כולם, אם לא שרצה שיה"י הוא גבוה מכל יתר העופות. ואם כן, גם אתה כמו דרכיו... צא ולמד הנשר אשר לא ישקוט מלעשות, עד שיהי"ה למעלה מכל עוף כנף, ועשה כן גם אתה!!.” The eagle flies much higher than all other birds. But who told it that it could or should fly higher than everything else? It must be therefore that it possesses the inate knowledge and confidence that it cannot rest until it is flies higher than every other bird. You too must learn from the eagle, and must not be satisfied until you rise up above everything around you.

The Ramchal explains that because a person comes from dust and earth, there is a natural heaviness to a person. He feels weighted down and doesn’t want to trouble himself or do any hard work. So Hashem calls out to us, “Be as light as an eagle! Even though it is heavy, it has strong wings and it shakes off the dust and rises straight up to the heavens. You have wings and you must use them.

Rav Chaim Vital wrote in Shaarei Kedusha that the rectification for the element called “earth” is to be (Avos 4:1) “שמח בחלקו,” happy with one’s life. When a Jew rejoices in the mitzvos, these are the wings that will lift him out of the heaviness and allow him to fly.

My children once had a story book about an eagle’s nest high on a mountaintop. Something happened and the eagle’s egg rolled down to the bottom of the mountain to a chicken coop. One of the chickens sat on the egg until it hatched. The little eagle was different from the other chickens and didn’t quite fit in. He tried to peck at the ground and do what the other chickens were doing, but he just could not become like them. He was having a difficult time getting along with his adopted parents and siblings until one day, when he met an eagle family. Essentially, they asked him what he was doing hanging around with chickens pecking at the ground. “You’re an eagle! Why aren’t you flying to the highest heights?” Ultimately, he discovered that he could fly and left with his fellow eagles.

We are Jews. We must realize that we are not chickens. We do not need to peck around in the dust. Every adult should read Rav Kalonymous Kalmish Shapira’s introduction to Chovas Hatalmidim before becoming a parent. And every boy should read the first perek of Chovas Hatalmidim to learn what it means to be a Jew. There, the Rebbe writes:

We know that you’re still not quite sure about everything we’re saying here. We know that you’re still asking youself, “How is it possible to make such an elevated person out of me? Not only that, how can it be that while I am still young, I will become Hashem’s special, beloved child like they’re telling me? My parents and grandparents were not like that and I’m just a plain, ordinary child” But this way of thinking is also mistaken, and we can’t leave you with it, either... If you feel discouraged because your parents and grandparents were simple people, then elevate you viewport and look farther back. Who were your forefathers? The holy ones, the Nevi’im, Tanna’im, Amora’im, the Geonim and [many other] tzadikim. The Gemara (Pesachim 66a) says “If the Jews are not prophets, they are the children of prophets.” The Gemara is not talking about the distant past. It is teaching us that even now, today, in your heart and in the hearts of all Jewish children, there lies a spark that came from the Nevi’im. All you have to do is search for it and discover it in yourself.
Yechiel (?) (the Bar Mitzva boy), I have known your parents before you knew them. They have been flying and soaring higher and higher for a very long time. And I have talked to many of your father’s students and their parents and I know that he teaches Jewish children that they can fly.
Always remember that you can rise above the world around you and become great because you are a Jew and you have wings. Don’t be a chicken pecking around on the ground. Set your sights high and become great. אי"ה, you and all of us together should be זוכה, merit to return to ארצנו הקדושה, Eretz Yisroel, on eagles wings בבאת גואל צדק שיבא במהרה בימנו אמן.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

HOW TO WIN THE WAR AND KILL THE YH

How to get Hashem to Fight for Us
The Yetzer Hara is stronger than us. We have no hope of beating him alone. After all, he was created by Hashem, so it's like trying to fight Hashem himself! The only way we can win him over, is when Hashem himself steps in to fight for us. But how do we get Hashem to do this for us? 

I saw a beautiful piece in the Sefer "Shamati" from the Ba'al Hasulam that sheds light on this great question. David Hamelech writes in Tehillim, "Ohavei Hashem sinu Ra, shomer nafshos chasidav miyad reshayim yatzeileim - Those who love Hashem hate evil, He guards the souls of his righteous, from the hand of the Reshayim he saves them". The Ba'al Hasulam explains that "evil" refers to the Ratzon Lekabel which is "the desire to receive" that was implanted in every person by Hashem so that He can ultimately bestow all his good upon us. However, it is this very Ratzon Lekabel that separates us from Hashem, since it makes us "wanters" and "takers", while Hashem is the very opposite of that, He only wants to "give". Just like two people who like opposite things can't be friends, and conversely, two people who like exactly the same things, become very close. Therefore, explains the Ba'al Hasulam, true Deveikus with Hashem can only be achieved when a person breaks his Ratzon Lekabel and insists that he wants to be like Hashem. This means not to be a "taker" but only to be a "giver", to give of himself to others, and to live for Hashem and give Him a Nachas Ruach.
 
The problem is, no one can break the Ratzon Lekabel. It is the very nature of our existence and it was put in place by Hashem himself. How can one break his very nature? So the Pasuk reveals to us the secret: "Those who love Hashem", says the Pasuk, "hate evil". Hashem doesn't ask of us to break the Yetzer Hara, he asks us only to HATE IT. When we recognize how this Ratzon Lekabel has been the cause of every misfortune and evil that has ever befallen man, we begin to HATE IT. When we realize that it is only the Ratzon Lekabel that seperates between us and Hashem - like a stone wall, we begin to HATE IT. And when we finally hate the Ratzon Lekabel with a passion, the Pasuk continues: "He guards the souls of his righteous, from the hands of the evil ones he saves them".

Sunday, February 5, 2012

HASHEM HELP ME BEAT THE BEAST

Maharal: The Secret to Beating the Yetzer Hara
Someone pointed out to me a beautiful piece from the Maharal (Netiv Koach Hayetzer, Perek 4). The relevant Hebrew text can be downloaded here.

The Maharal writes something that sounds very simple, yet he claims that it is the deepest secret to understanding the battle with the Yetzer Hara. The Maharal writes, that as long as a person believes he can overcome the Yetzer Hara himself, he will fail. This is because he is pitting his strength against the strength of the Yetzer Hara, like two people who are fighting with each other. The Yetzer Hara is an angel of G-d, and we are mere mortals. Obviously, the angel will overcome the mortal. The only one who is stronger than this angel is Hashem himself. He alone can help us overcome the Yetzer Hara.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

HOW TO STOP THE MAKOS

What does Yetziyas Mitzrayim and Kriyas Yam Suf
it really is.
 
At first, we refuse to give up our "self-will" on our own - and we let ourselves become enslaved to Pharaoh more and more. After making enough bad choices, often our "free-will" is taken away from us "vayachbed Hashem es Libo" and we no longer have the choice to simply give up the "Jewish People" to serve Hashem, no matter how smitten we feel. Hashem "hardens our (read: the addiction's) heart", for the purpose of showing His true strength. As Hashem said to Pharaoh, "For this alone I have kept you, to show you my strength"...

Until finally, when Hashem sends "Kol Magefosai el Libecha" - and we understand that we literally stand before life and death (step 1 of the 12-Steps), are we finally willing to "Give Up" our will to Hashem and let the "Jewish people" go serve their G-d (steps 2 - 3).

All those times that we tried to stop and couldn't - in spite of receiving Makka after Makka; all the "hardening of our hearts" that Hashem did to us - served one purpose only. We now know clearly that we can NOT do it on our own. The "hardening of our hearts" (i.e. the baffling power of the addiction - and the first 9 Makkos we got), show us clearly that we are powerless to "release" the Jewish people (read: our self will) on our own. Only when that 10th and final Makka hits us and we see that major parts of us - our lives, our families and all that is precious to us, is being flushed down the toilet of our addiction - and we finally feel that we stand before life and death, are we finally able to admit defeat and let HASHEM take the Jewish people out.

At that point we are willing to admit that we can't on our own, and that only Hashem can. And so we give over our will to Hashem and let Him take over. (Step 3)

Or so we think.

As we leave Mitzrayim (our self-will) behind, we enter the barren desert and try to let Hashem run things, for a change. But our addiction (self-will) suddenly can't deal with the new reality. How can we follow G-d into the wilderness? We have lived our entire lives on "self-will"! And so we find ourselves standing before the Yam Suf. Our addiction / self-will is chasing us from behind and we know clearly that if it catches up to us again, we are doomed to eternal servitude - and death. But in front of us stands the sea. If we enter there, we will surely drown!

And so we cry out to G-d from the depths of our hearts. "Father, I can't go back there any more, but I can't move forward either!"

Answers Hashem, "It is for this moment I have waited, my dear son. Why do you cry to me? Let go and let G-d. Trust in me completely and just MOVE FORWARD. "Daber el Benai Yisrael Vi'sa'u!"

And so we enter the water until our necks, with complete faith and trust - against all our instincts, and the miracle of Kriyas Yam Suf occurs!

We see that we do not drown, after all. We are walking on "dry land" amidst the sea. We really CAN leave Mitzrayim! We really can give up our self-will completely!

As long as we know 100 percent that it is Hashem who is in charge, and it is Hashem who is holding us, we discover the miracle of walking on dry land amidst the sea!

And with this realization, we finally witness our "self-will" (addiction) drown forever in the waters that we thought would drown us.

And our hearts fill with true joy and we sing the Shira - "Az Yashir" in future tense, because each and every Jew will undergo this process, somehow or another. Each and every Jew will one day sing this praise to Hashem, where he finally recognizes and understands how all the suffering he underwent until now, was only to bring him to complete dependence and trust in Hashem. "Hashem is Milchama, Hashem Shemo!"

And with these newly found "G-d strengths", we are able to follow Hashem into the wilderness where He is a pillar of fire and warmth in the nights (symbolizing all the hard bumps of life), and He is a Sukka of Ananei Hakavod by day... (symbolizing the good times, when we truly feel G-d's loving embrace)...

And we return to our "youthful" trust in Hashem, "Zacharti Lach Chesed Ne'urayich... Lech Tech Acharai Bamidbar..." And our loving Father protects us in the desert from all harm and "turns the rock into a pool of water, stone to springs of water" - and feeds us Manna from the sky, one day at a time.

And now we are ready to receive Torah
have to do with us?

Every human being needs to ultimately undergo a Yetziyas Mitzrayim and Kriyas yam Suf of sorts, sooner or later. Mitzrayim symbolizes "Self-Will", which we are all slaves to from birth, and "leaving Mitzrayim" symbolizes giving over our will to Hashem. Pharaoh symbolizes our "self-will". And he won't let us go and serve Hashem until he has "hit bottom" big time. That is why Yetziyas Mitzrayim is mentioned no less than 50 times in the Torah. This is what it's all about, folks.

With addicts, the process of Yetziyas Miztrayim is much clearer to see. If used correctly, the addiction can expedite our personal and spiritual growth to the highest levels, if we learn to view the process for what